It’s Not The Game, It’s The People

I love WoW. I love the content, the landscapes, the diversity, the PvE and PvE, and yes, I even love the quests. But most of all what I love about WoW is the people. Logging in each day to see who is online, chatting with people I’ve gotten to know over the past year, and those I’ve only met a few minutes ago, and will probably never meet again. But sometimes it gets overwhelming. It can be hard to judge someone accurately while IMing them in a game, and I’ve found myself with more than a few people that seem to think I am their therapist. I listen, I empathize and sympathize. I don’t /ignore. And they tell me that they just broke up with their girlfriend, that they are about to get kicked out of their home, that they are thinking of committing suicide. All within the first few hours of meeting me. I don’t mind people venting too me that I know, that I consider friends, and whoem I can vent back at when needed. But some people just… I don’t know. They ask to be my friend. Literally. “So, can I add you to my friends list?” What the hell am I supposed to say to that? And so whenever I log on, I become a therapist.

And today for the first time, it got to me, and I couldn’t take it and logged off. My ‘patient’ logged in, and said hey, how is it going, and sorry he has not said hi in while. I, to be honest, couldn’t remember who he was, he wasn’t on Pua’s friends list, and I think it was on Taba’s that I had the note written that would be able to jog my memory. But before I could ask him about, it, he told me some really harsh things that has been going on in his life. Then I couldn’t tell him that I frankly had no clue who he was. I then relayed my conundrum to a friend, and somehow got the whisper/party chat mixed up, and ended up whispering the first guy instead. I felt terribibble. Like really really bad. One, I should have kept what he told me to myself, it was not in my place to share. Two, this guy has some issues that are way beyond me, and I just let him know that in an all to blunt way. I almost /ignored him out of guilt. I said I was sorry a dozen times. And I still felt like shit. I couldn’t even imagine how he felt. He’s already down, and this person he decided to confind in couldn’t even remember who he was? Dammit! I called my best friend by the wrong name for 6 fricken months! It took me two months to finally figure out that two people who frequents the store I work at were actually the same person, who only brought one of their kids in at a time! I’m bad with names and faces. I’ll freely admit that. It makes meeting people IRL a bitch, and in WoW, if I friend someone, I always put a note by there name.

I know I need to set up some boundaries. Let them know that while I am willing to be their friend, they need a bubble. This is an online game. We are faceless. Time needs to be invested to let the friendships grow to the point where you can safely lean on a friend from support. And it needs to go both ways. I do have friends like that in the game. People who I have been playing with for months and months. People that I know I can count on to pick me up when I have a rough day, and they know they can count on me to do the same. But then their are those that when you need support, bail. They don’t know how to handle the concept of it not being about them. And I pretend not to mind. But I just want to shout ‘LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE’. However then I won’t be a ‘good’ friend. I will be a bitch. I will be just one more of the uncaring faceless faces that litter the game. I cannot be that.

So I logged. I had to get away from it. Had to get away from the people who are the reason I love the game. The reason I hate the game. It’s not the quests that people get sick of, not the ganking, or even Blizz. It’s the people. And today, for the first time, I got that.

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